Hello people in the blogspot space, welcome to my place to rant!
I needed to let this out because I've been bottling up my feelings a little too long.
Let me just get you guys up to speed.
Last year (2020), I became active in Twitchverse and got to know a lot of new people. And one of that people is this girl, lets just call her JANE. Earlier this year (2021), we've grown a little closer because of Genshin Impact. I started to be more active on the game and wanted to ask someone about how things work in game. Therefore, I asked one person at the time who was free about it. I asked JANE (BIG MISTAKE).
We started playing together, talk a lot in the discord personal voice chat. And then suddenly she started talking about how annoying this other acquaintance was, lets call him JOE. I've played a lot of games with JOE, I do understand that he annoys people sometimes with his style of gaming (show boat-y attitude, barks orders, and generally annoying in game). I laughed and mentioned that yes, that's how he is. Not gonna lie, he is annoying but still is tolerable (my way was to not play games with him for a couple of days). She started berating him. Understandable as she plays Genshin with him almost everyday along with other people in her discord server. I told her if you want to prevent yourself from feeling annoyed just take some time off from him. And so, she decided to hang around in my server instead. I was fine with that.
After a couple of days, she invited another person into the fray, lets call him JIM. JIM was also fed up with JOE's attitude. And so we hid for a bit.
We created a group chat just JANE, JIM and me inside. The sole purpose of that is for us to play Genshin together, and probably chat about everyday stuff. Soon, JANE began to be comfortable with ranting in the group, and soon private messaging me. I rather not get into it. It was mostly negative about various things about her dysfunctional and toxic family, her fucked up relationship (with a married guy), and various other people that she hates. It leaks from messaging to voice chats as she gets more and more comfortable.
Honestly, I also have my grievances with certain people in Twitchverse, in which I've also ranted but it was minor and I was just a little frustrated with how things are going (and with Malaysia going in and out of MCO phases, it was annoying as heck). Most of the time though? She fills my ears and message with so much negativity until I was severely affected. I was tired, and whenever I tried to talk about my frustrating situation, she cuts it off and talks about her frustrations. And right after that, she talks about how she is MUCH MUCH better than anyone else, proving that she can pay bills for her mother, she survived the whole year and a half without a job because of her savings, etc etc. It's all about her, her, HER.
One day, JOE was a little harsh to another friend, lets call him CHARLIE, all of us was in the discord voice chat, chatting and playing Genshin/7 Days to Die. Suddenly, JANE turned into the hulk. After that everything went downhill. She took that as initiative to absolutely hate on JOE like he personally attacked her. She recruited several people (and made an announcement in her server) that she hates JOE and will be banning him from her server. She then in turn ask me for a favor and that is to unfriend him in Genshin Impact, and throwing him out from my server. I of course refused. A day later, JOE chats with CHARLIE, and both were quite civil with each other. JOE then confided in CHARLIE about JANE's change of behavior. CHARLIE knows what was going on and asks JOE to confront JANE as he'd rather both of them sort it out themselves.
and you know what? JANE REFUSED TO TALK TO HIM. IT WAS RIDICULOUS!
Another friend, lets call her LING, received a message from JOE, asking for help with his situation with JANE. LING also gave the same advice CHARLIE did, and she also advices JANE to at least give JOE a chance to talk (she blocked him everywhere on social media. she was thorough). She refused, said that he could die for all she cared.
IT WAS ANNOYING AF! The comment wasn't even directed AT HER! The person in question (CHARLIE) already settled the matter. Jane was taking things TOO FAR! She even said that he can take his own life, and she doesn't even give a damn. The guy was only being annoying, it was just a little flaw in his character that he can fix if he was told politely (honestly, he's generally a good guy). BUT SHE DECIDED THAT JOE CAN JUST DIE BECAUSE OF THAT! Can you see the TOXICITY of this BITCH?
I said to her, to calm down, to ask her to at least talk it out. I was fuming inside really. I couldn't stand the drama that was happening in my server. It was harmonious at first but this bitch brings rain and storm everywhere she goes. It was then I freaking realize why her best friend left this bitch. She was that toxic. (She cried foul at the best friend every time the best friend was mentioned.)
This is where it's gonna be all about Genshin Impact, I'm so sorry if this confuses you but please bear with me.
While all this still going on, we marched on until one day. ONE DAY. while I was playing Genshin Impact, it was during Zhongli banner (a limited 5 star character) where most of us were excited to at least get his Constellation No. 1. I was at my soft pity, I got Diluc (another 5 star character), and a few more pulls I've finally gotten Zhongli's C1. I then decided to stop and wait for a week or so to replenish my Primogem. A week later, I rolled around 40 or so wishes, I was quite a ways away from getting another 5 star character, but SUDDENLY a golden star fell from the sky, it was the GEO ARCHON himself, ZHONGLI! I was REALLY excited okay, but I decided to keep my mouth shut. This was in the morning before I go to work.
And so in the evening, after dinner, we all gathered again in my server to play Genshin together. We were doing an in game event together with Ling, Jim, Jane, and me. While playing in the event, I asked politely if I could use Zhongli, as Jane's main is Zhongli. She said okay, she then used Xiao, another 5 star character. After a few rounds of battle in the event domain, she finally noticed that my Zhongli executed a Constellation No. 2 skill. After the battle, she asked me if my Zhongli has his C2. And I slowly said yes. At the back of my mind, I knew she was gonna lose her shit. She did. She ranted, guys, RANTED! I NEVER get the character I want! This always happens to me! Why am I being denied this, that yadda, yadda, yadda. Before I go any further, previous days before this incident, she has been complaining that she got Zhongli's C1 at 80-90 pulls, finished most of her Primogems not getting what she wants. She even mentioned that she cried after getting the worst rolls of her life. I was in the same situation when I rolled for Childe the first time, I didn't even complain. It was all in your luck.
Okay, everyone on the same page now? Right.
She was so upset, she muted herself. Everyone was in awkward silence, you know? Usually our reactions to people who got these kind of thing is like, WOW congratulations, that was AWESOME! I'm so happy for you! But nah, she decided to crap on people's fun. It's like I wasn't allowed to get this. It's just a game though. She freaked out like it was the end of her life. Like WTH?
We decided to just press on, and I decided to just play solo or just play with another group of friends.
Jane decided to ask Jim to take care of her account coz according to her she needed some time off off Genshin. During her time of absence, she gave Jim instructions on what to do in her account, including to roll when there was enough Primogems on Zhongli's banner. She then went on to binge on Korean Dramas. She does come to the voice chat occasionally, not to play Genshin but talk to other friends in the server. I rarely show up coz I needed some time out. During this time, Jim was taking care of Jane's account, and on a night when they were together in voice chat with, Ling, Charlie and a few other friends, Jane tells Jim to roll with the audience. Lo and behold, a golden star appears. Alas, it was not what she wanted, Jean came out. She then ranted again according to Ling. I was really glad I wasn't there. Thank goodness.
A few days later, she announced that she finally bought crystals (a currency to buy more primogems using real money. and with little money she had to buy this WHILE she complains ALL THE TIME that she does not have money to afford this. She bought the most expensive package which was the RM429 one). And with that she finally scores a Zhongli C2! This was probably almost 2 weeks after the incident. She then PM-ed me to finally apologize after she has gotten what she wanted.
This was what she said.
this phrase "so daripada sa meroyan dpn smua, sa cooldown sebelum join kamu balik"
basically means, so before I go mad crazy in front of everyone, I need to cool down before I rejoin you guys.
and so yours truly answered.
basically means, Alright.
And so I took a few more days before saying this to her.
some of them are in malay, so here goes.
the phrase, "also btw sa lupa mo ckp, ko dpt dlu apa yg ko mo baru ko mo minta maaf? doi gia."
means, also by the way I forgot to say this, but you've gotten what you wanted first then you finally decided to apologize ?
the phrase, "kalo sedar gaya tu gitu, bagus take the time off utk improve urself."
means, if you realize your attitude is like that then it's better you take the time off to improve yourself.
then she sent me a long ass message.
I did not respond after this.
A couple of days after this message, I have sat with myself and thought everything through. I've decided that I should leave her server as I feel that it no longer serves purpose. I know I won't be there in the long run. I know how I am. Once I'm done, I'm really done.
I was gonna write a long ass message to her as to why I wanted to leave but work got in the way.
She messaged me on Whatsapp.
Her: I'll remove myself from your server. I've hurt you so much, so I'll go.
Her: Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm sorry again for hurting you so much.
Me: You didnt hurt me. I just want to be away from the toxicity.
Her: And I'll do so. I apologize, but I'll remove myself from you.
Me: go ahead, no one's stopping you.
All was fine and dandy, I'm fine with her decision to leave. No one's forcing her to stay. Then I got this from a friend.
[name redacted], just wanna inform you that I've made a huge mistake and hurt Nifty really bad, so I've taken my leave from her server so I won't hurt her more than what I've done
tujuan sa bgtau ni so kamu nda mention pasal sa kalau ada Nifty cuz takut dia mengamuk saja (this means, the reason I'm telling you this is so that you don't mention me or my name if Nifty is there coz I'm worried that she'll get really angry) it was fully my fault, so I accept her decision to remove herself from me
Wait what? This irks me honestly. WHY IN THE WORLD do you want to INVOLVE someone else in this drama? This was just between her and me, why can't she just LEAVE quietly.
This was what pissed me off. THE AUDACITY!
For all the time that most of us had to deal with her lousy attitude, for all the time most of us being patient with her. THE AUDACITY!
If I were to nitpick, there were a whole lot of things that she's done that were MORE annoying than what Joe did but we still were patient with her. The clash between Jane and Joe was what made me feel a ways more uncomfortable with her attitude. And then being a literal ass in later days put the friendships that she made with most of us 6 feet under.
She can hide behind her nice, cheerful self for a while in front of new friends. The inner demons are going to come out sooner or later.
There were countless of times, I advice her to take the high road, to not manifest too much negativity, to be patient, all the positive things. I tried honestly. She said this often times, after losing so many friends, I'm trying to improve myself. It's so hard.
I'm not one to take on any BS. I'm so tired of people BS-ing my whole life. I didn't need this mental torture.
I am happy that I could finally let this frustration go. I am happy to put this down in writing.
Thank you for reading till the end. Until the next rant.
Ciao my beautiful people, stay safe!
p/s: I would've forgiven a one time thing, it's just that everything escalated so much, it was a lot of things onto another, I just couldn't take it anymore. Also, my husband was relieved that Jane's finally out of the picture. He's such a good supporter and listener.
pp/s: I found snippets of Jane being... Jane. This was the Joe incident, I was trying to mediate.
